comparison

muse-letter experiment

i just experienced a painful bout of social comparison online and I’m in my alchemy era so I am wondering what it has to teach me. In fact I always go through the same few steps when it comes to the topic of comparison.

First it occurs to me that “comparison is the thief of joy” (or at least how it’s used) puts the onus on the individual rather than the culture, framing comparison as an active choice we make rather than an unavoidable symptom of our time. It’s socially and colonially constructed — social media, beauty standards, oppression, hierarchy, supremacy, capitalism and the quantification of self, colonialism and the stripping away of deep and ancient spiritual truths that ground us in love, community, earth consciousness & magic

Also, we do it because on some human level we must. All the theory in the world cannot save us from that deeper spiritual truth that we were not meant to have so much difference to notice between us and each other. We are a collaborative and collectivist species after all

Second, when I am facing that distinct digital dimension of comparison, I start to wonder about people who might compare themselves to me. I’ve done this with people with a large following online so it would be the wrong kind of delusional to assume people have not done the same. What are they imagining I’m experiencing, and am I experiencing it? I leave it to you

Third I flip this on its head. What am I imagining this person I’m comparing myself to feels? Why don’t I consider that the feeling of not-enoughness within me is within them, and they are in turn feeling tortured by their own felt deficiency or unworthiness, at times triggered by someone else?

Fourth I imagine what it would take to have a world without this feeling. what collective truths could birth such a world into being? we are love, we are abundant, we do not reduce but amplify and expand each other, we are eternal, we are magical, we are abundant — this is not a phrase we say but a reality we live — we belong to each other, we radiate each other’s love — so someone shining is you shining because we are one, we are different manifestations of universal love and belonging

Fifth, (and this is new because I haven’t always had a journalling practice) I journal. I used the following prompt: What is she allowing herself to experience that you feel called to but are not admitting to yourself? Envy is the other face of desire after all

Finally, I dance. I move the energy through and around my body. I bring myself back to my capacity to experience joy. This is new and highly recommended. In fact I am writing to you from the first time I have ever done it. Put on a song and let some joy through the crevices of your Being, reminding yourself of your capacity to experience it. What a gift. Here’s what I just danced to 15 mins ago. And now I am insisting on pressing send, because if I save this to my drafts, it will never leave

all my love to you sunshines and starbeings,

Ayanda

Noticing a pattern with getting stuck on perfectionism with my writing, I allowed myself to share something a lot more “raw” and stream of consciousness than I usually feel invited to. This is because of my fear of being seen in a more unpolished (read: honest) state, as an “overachiever” since childhood, where my perfectionism began. What can you invite yourself to experience in your own creative expansion?

Join me this Sunday for my Creative Fear MasterClass, where we’ll connect to and through the fears, resistance, perfectionism, and avoidance that show up in the creative process — and learn how to alchemize fear into loving, aligned action