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destinyv's avatar

I know this is an older post, but it is just now entering my life. And it has completely shifted my perspective. As many others, who have partaken in the self-help route to love, I use a lot of mantras throughout my day. One of them being "you are stronger than your fear." I have recognized recently, in times of great anxiety and stress, it hasn't done much to relieve me. After listening to you speak, I am beginning to think that I am not stronger than my fear. Maybe I always believed that (which would explain its ineffectiveness). I am my fear, and it is a part of me. Not a separate entity that I must defeat, but rather an element that lives within me. I am going to try embracing my fear and recognizing it. I don't know how this will work out for me, but I am incredibly thankful for you opening my eyes to this possibility. Listening to this was soothing and incredibly impactful.

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Maris's avatar

Thank you for this. The way you share your thoughts feels like a strong, firm hug from very loving friend or guardian who refuses to let you wallow. I've been thinking about this topic for a while, noticing my tendency to fight aggressively with self doubt, then let it wash over me with pity. Thinking about the roots of this cycle in colonialism, and likely the supreme suppression of our earth-channel intuition and listening skills, helps me understand what is going on and how I might want to interact with these emotions.

I may cross post this narrative with one of my upcoming articles on syntropic farming, if that's ok with you. I'm weaving in a through line about how our proclivity for judgement = a lack of trust in the intelligence of the planet, and a belief in our own supremacy.

🙏 thank you for your work

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ayandastood's avatar

I love thisssss a strong firm hug from a very loving friend who refuses to let you wallow omg 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I felt anxious about this and your words were the strong firm hug I needed in turn. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this thoughtful loving comment 🥰❤️😩. I so resonate with what you're expressing re self doubt, pity, the vicious cycle. I just started a book called Radical Acceptance that I'm excited to learn and bring insights from. In the first chapter she talks about her shame in a way that gripped me and made me feel v seen.

That is so very okay with me, please do share it with us (if you would like!) so we can read it! It's my first time hearing about syntropic farming!! Sounds amazing, good luck with this important work 🥰❤️

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dear someday's avatar

Love this comment! Just subscribed to your Substack. I am so excited to read your work. 🙏🏼

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Maris's avatar

Thanks so much Alexander! I appreciate you <3

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Sania's avatar

This resonate so much and im feeling immense gratitude as i am reading and listening !!! in relation to language and the nature part (not sure if this is fully related to this) but in my mother tongue, tetun, we don’t often use identity in an individualistic way but rather communally with nature also. For example when translating the sentence “I am from Timor ” literally we say “ I am the child of Timor ”, (hau Timor oan) and I interpret it as we are born and breaded by nature as whole from the environment, the food, neighbours, family, teachers (both human and non human because we can learn a lot from a tree heheh 🥰) that make up a self, a country, so is our parent and we the children. therefore it is only valid that we feel, think, and behave a certain way if the language and the “nature” of the current world pride itself in “confidence” and boxes of identities that consist of should and shouldn’t while ignoring the aspect of we are beings of many elements and it is okay that we adopt one characteristic more than other. I think of it as ingredients in food, just like how the tumeric is a key ingredient in a curry, but so is the cumin even tho a lot of the time people only see the visibility of tumeric. yet without cumin it wouldn’t be curry. So its okay to not be confident , the fact we are meant to be with each other and it make us whole should count to something right? like a curry. I’m just rumbling but I’m so excited about this topic and feel touched but didint have the language to explore until this mini podcast and letter!😭💛

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ayandastood's avatar

Omg you are literally the best human I love all your comments soo so much 🥹❤️ I feel so grateful to have you here!!! Omg i LOVE THIS thank you for bringing in the perspective of Tetun. That is incredible!!!!!! I AM THE CHILD OF TIMOR 😩😩❤️ I love this so much and I always think about how from the earth's perspective we never age out of being children, that that is a social construct to make it possible to age out of childlike states and needs.. that's so powerful I will never forget this and I will be trying to learn more! And then wow the curry metaphor I had such a heart-opening experience. That's such a wonderful way of looking at it and looking at confidence!!!! We all have a role to play. You explored this so generously!!!!! I'm so inspired! I am left with new eyes. Truly all of these words have stuck with me so deeply!!! I am cumin!!!!! 😩❤️ Thank you 😩❤️

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Sania's avatar

Thank youuuuu ever so much for your kind touching words 😭 I truly appreciate it and I’m looking forward to more of your love letters, they hit and open my mind every time 🫶🏼😭❤️ we appreciate you, best thing about social media is we get to learn from magnificent minds like you, ❤️ I feel so lucky to

have found you on TikTok 🫶🏼🙏😭🌷✨

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Carolyn Schafer-Geurin's avatar

This could not have come at a better time. Thinking through your words about not feeding ego, but feeding others. Looking to those who exhibit confidence and do I want to look like that? You are so right about human beings are not machines but the more you hear that the more real it becomes. Thank you for reminding us to question the world that tells us we don't belong as we are.

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ayandastood's avatar

Omg I am sooo happy to hear this! I spoke about your comment and the others to my best friend and therapist. Thank you so much for taking the time to send it!!!!! Yesss I love the way you put it re: ego and feeding others, I truly believe that is part of why we are all here. 🥰❤️ thank you for being here and feeding me today!!!

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dear someday's avatar

Thank you so much this incredible message. You are AMAZING! Thank you so much for this newsletter. I’m going to listen to it again and again. Your words are so sustaining and healing and uplifting and honest and powerful 🙏🏼

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